About "mate crime" and the warning signs

Mate crime is a form of hate crime committed by people who pretend to be friends with the victim.

The perpetrators might be very nice to the victim when they first meet, they will work hard to build their trust.

But, over time they can start doing things that the victim isn’t comfortable with. They might gaslight them into believing it’s ok, it’s their fault or that they shouldn’t tell anybody.

The perpetrators might damage the victim’s property, ask to borrow things or money and not return them or steal things from them.

People who are pretending to be their friend might start saying things that upset them. Or they might start doing things to them or asking them to do things to themselves that they aren’t comfortable with.

Coercion and grooming

Mate crime is coercion or grooming. It’s a way perpetrators control their victims and it can be difficult to spot or prove.

These can be signs that cause concern:

• They are giving away their possessions or money.
• Their possessions or money are going missing.
• They talk about friends but their stories are concerning.
• They smell of alcohol or there’s signs of drug abuse.
• They have marks on their body or damage to their clothing.
• Their mood changes and they start to be afraid of new things, people or places.

Coercion and grooming can lead to other crimes being committed against the victim, or by the victim under instruction from the perpetrators.

Theft warning signs

• Their possessions or money are going missing.
• They have acquired new possessions in concerning circumstances.

Property damage warning signs

• Their possessions or property is damaged or destroyed.
• Their clothes look like they have been damaged.

Physical or sexual abuse warning signs

• They have suspicious marks or bruises.
• They are sore or have markings around their genitals or other areas of their body.
• Their mood has changed, they might retreat or display challenging behaviour.

Verbal abuse or intimidation warning signs

• Their mood has changed, they might retreat or display challenging behaviour.
• Their possessions or property is damaged or destroyed.
• They are afraid to go somewhere, leave their home or go home.
• They talk about things that their “friends” do or say that is concerning.

It is important you talk to your students about hate crime and coercive control. Supporting them to have healthy relationships helps protect them from perpetrators.

If you suspect someone is a victim of a hate crime, there are different ways you can report it.

If you report the hate crime to the police you might have to work with them and the Crown Prosecution Service while the case is investigated and the perpetrator is on trial.